can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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