Non-Jews are for practice
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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