I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
