I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
