my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
