remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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