after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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