i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
two words: eviction party
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Randomize
