Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
