I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
