even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize