Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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