So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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