Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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