every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize