We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
