I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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