Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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