Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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