I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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