NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
