Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
