R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Less talking, more tequila
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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