She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
organizing the empties. That sober.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
