No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
