dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
