just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
