Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize