okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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