Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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