we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
