You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
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The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
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I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.