well I can't set my house on fire every night
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.