Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): Great. Don't do shady things like that ok? http://tfl.nu/xavr
  Replies (4) Good night (824) Bad night (974) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (989): Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother. http://tfl.nu/be9n
  Replies (86) Good night (3856) Bad night (7466) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (763): She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid. http://tfl.nu/20rh
  Replies (71) Good night (519) Bad night (6468) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up. http://tfl.nu/3bej
  Replies (33) Good night (4278) Bad night (1381)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying. http://tfl.nu/nbti
  Replies (19) Good night (967) Bad night (3920) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy. http://tfl.nu/3y3a
  Replies (8) Good night (1211) Bad night (3108) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks. http://tfl.nu/ltgr
  Replies (11) Good night (5158) Bad night (1458) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us.. http://tfl.nu/3ryz
  Replies (11) Good night (4672) Bad night (893) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  i drank out of a bidet.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): i drank out of a bidet. http://tfl.nu/arjg
  Replies (16) Good night (747) Bad night (4248) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club? http://tfl.nu/yeac
  Replies (10) Good night (3326) Bad night (1006) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  And I meant every ounce of it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands. (864): And I meant every ounce of it. http://tfl.nu/062o
  Replies (7) Good night (1196) Bad night (2105)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (865): I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on. http://tfl.nu/71nz
  Replies (5) Good night (1647) Bad night (490) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed. http://tfl.nu/j5xb
  Replies (6) Good night (1334) Bad night (378) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin. http://tfl.nu/8mge
  Replies (4) Good night (1148) Bad night (340) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke http://tfl.nu/zqlg
  Replies (2) Good night (476) Bad night (801) Order T-Shirt

Randomize