Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
