Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Randomize