i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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