I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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