my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
My vagina just recognized that song.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
The Olympian is in my bed
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
