I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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