So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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