I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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