we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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