I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Even my vagina gasped.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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