Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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