The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Rumble strips road head = magical
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I still have a little drunk in my system
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
We're too hungover to prance.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
