If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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