he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
