omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I DEMAND FORESKIN
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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