My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize