Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
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