It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
