nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I love having hate sex.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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