I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
