the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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