I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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