so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
