And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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