When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
