I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
